The Ninjas Entry

By now you've probably realized I am a filthy liar and posting schedule? What posting schedule? That could never, ever happen.

That said, I was getting out of the bath this morning when I suddenly remembered a scene from a cartoon I liked as a kid. (And still like, actually, but my Peter Pan syndrome is neither here nor there.) The Fairly Oddparents.

Now, I don't remember what the episode was even about, but this one scene has always stuck with me. Wanda produces a magical typewriter from hammerspace and starts working on "that novel she always meant to write". As the scene cuts out you hear her narrating what she's writing:

"It was dawn. I was in my towel when the ninjas attacked."

Clearly meant to be comical, right? But you know...I actually think about that scene a lot. It legitimately bothers me why there are ninjas attacking this person in a towel so early in the morning. I mean, don't ninjas want to sleep in, too? And if she's (I'm assuming she because Wanda was writing it, let's not think too far into this) in her towel this early in the morning clearly she has something to do, what if those rascally ninjas make her late for work?

...you know, I really want to know what that story was about.

And, damn it, I want more beginnings like that one!

Maybe not necessarily with comical ninjas, but slamming right in. You know who does that really well? Jim Butcher. And not just at the beginning of the book, either, almost every scene is like being thrown into ice water from the get go.

Is it a little pulpy? Maybe. But you wanna hear a confession? I love it.

Don't get me wrong, literary fiction probably has its merits, it's just not my cup of tea.

There's an argument my boyfriend and I always have about our respective tastes in stories, both movies and books. He likes nonstop action and I like a little more character development and social type drama. It's hard for us to find things to agree on because of it.

Partially, this is because I feel like nonstop action is just as boring as three pages describing how a wilting flower on a windowsill is representative of Ramona's breaking heart. I tend to skim fight scenes like most people do descriptive passages if they last too long and nothing is going on with them.

I realize a lot of people think it's a major no-no to have characters talk to each other during sex scenes and fighting scenes because it's "not realistic", but I'll take "interesting" over "realistic" any day. If that fight scene is going to stretch three pages, I say go ahead and have the hero and his adversary screaming at each other while its happening.

Almost lost the point there.

What I'm saying is, I want stuff to happen.

Not wilting flowers. I don't care about wilting flowers unless the entire kingdom is pinning its hopes on this plant to eventually provide the cure to some kind of plague or it's Beauty and the Beast or something. Give me actual stuff happening.

Whatever your ninjas are, give me ninjas.

Fortune Favors,
Megan R. Miller